HELP: houseguests...

[Xanthoria]

I don't do well with house guests.

My parents have been staying for 5 weeks.

My SO invited his parents to stay this weekend too. He is incapable of sharing their plans without me forcing him to explain them. Also incapable of help with cleaning etc unless directed.

My mother invited an aunt to visit today as well.

I am in a frenzy of cleaning, driving, cooking, shopping, relentlessly, and trying to rehab my horse in between their entertainment/complaining.

My head is going to explode.

Someone say something to help me get through till Tuesday!!!!

[Srhorselady]

Oh my. You have my sympathy.

[Moutaineer]

We have my stepson and his wife and three whiny grandchildren staying. My quiet, orderly house looks and sounds like a bomb hit it, and my cats are suffering from major trauma.

They are packing to leave which is a day-long drama in itself...

[silk]

You have my sympathy.

Pull out a bottle of your finest favourite drink. I prefer gin. Tuesday will arrive in no time!

[Koolkat]

You have my sympathy.

Pull out a bottle of your finest favourite drink. I prefer gin. Tuesday will arrive in no time!

Better yet, give them the gin! Then go spend some quality time with your horse. . .

[heddylamar]

Run away and take your horse for a long walk.

[Xanthoria]

I have drunk so much wine the last few weeks... I need to dry out!

Yes I’ll be heading out for the 1 hour hand walk in the pouring rain shortly, accompanied by a chorus of complaints about why can’t the horse take a break today (from being fed? and rehab? As if I enjoy it?)

Mountaineer if there were kids involved I’d be hospitalized right now: that’s my worst nightmare!!!

AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

[texsuze]

BTDT Get SO to fetch some take out sandwiches for lunch (and you'll open some cans of soup!) and take out for dinner. And cereal for b'fast. Folks don't like it? Then don't bother coming back for a few more years!

The "pre-onslaught prep" is what wears me out--cleaning house, cleaning guest quarters, planning, groceries, etc. By the time visitors get here I just nearly shut down and feel nothing of excusing myself to do night check, then go to bed. Plus, I get really tired of preparing next day b'fast casseroles at 11:30 pm, after all the food prep, and cleaning the dinner dishes, while DH yik-yak, chit-chats and continues to pour adult beverages for all. His brother is the only one who ever offers to help clean up.

I feel (and will soon again be feeling) your pain

[Koolkat]

Would it be bad taste to post our stories?

[Xanthoria]

Misery loves company Koolkat!

[Mareless]

I don't do well with house guests.

My parents have been staying for 5 weeks.

My SO invited his parents to stay this weekend too. He is incapable of sharing their plans without me forcing him to explain them. Also incapable of help with cleaning etc unless directed.

My mother invited an aunt to visit today

I cannot imagine. Five weeks! That's not a visit, that's housemates. Unless they are with you that long for health reasons, you should not consider them guests or as your responsibility. Especially if they are also inviting other people to your home.

Get on with your normal life and schedule. Leave your housemates to entertain themselves as well as feed themselves and clean up after themselves.

[heddylamar]

My mother stays with us frequently, for extended times. She’s a great houseguest — rides my horse when I’m working long hours, cooks dinner, does her own laundry, makes her own coffee, cleans up after herself.

The fatal flaw? She’s an early riser and SUPER cheerful and chipper My husband is an ill-tempered zombie. I finally had to tell her not to talk to him until his second trip to the kitchen for coffee

[Canyon]

Ugh, that sounds painful!

Are you still looking for a job? I think I'd invent a day's worth of job interviews for Monday.

[silk]

My brother and his family have moved in. Thanks, mum, for trying to solve the world's problems.

Hopefully only two months...

Our previous boarders/housemates (paid) moved into their new-build home a week ago. My brother's new-build is scheduled to be completed at the end of April. They have been renting - Mum to the rescue! Come live in our huge house! With your wife and three children! Yessssss!

I have warned my friends that if they hear of a triple murder occuring in my town, it wasn't me.

[Chancellor]

All I can do is commiserate. Houseguests are the worst!

[piedmontfields]

Xan, this would kill me. Are boundaries not a thing with your people?

My not very helpful suggestion is to move to a part of the world that no one wants to visit. Works for us.

[Chisamba]

I was raised in a family who loved to welcome house guests. It is an invasion but if you dont let yourself stress too much, simplify your hostessing, and try to enjoy the company maybe it will seem less stressful.

[Hayburner]

Like you I would be flipping out! I just had my nephew and his family for 3 days and luckily, they are self sufficient and expect nothing from me! LOL

I enjoyed them being with me - they bring their own food for the kids and we ate out most of the time.

Someone staying 5 weeks would make me crazy! I am so use to doing my own thing I can't imagine having to change my schedule for others. Selfish ---- yes......

[Tarlo Farm]

Everything Mareless said. I'd suggest making a spreadsheet now (even done by hand on paper you've turned into graph-paper) of all the housework you and DH normally do. Tuck it into a drawer. Then when you have "houseguests" for any longer than two days, have them pencil in what they will be responsible for. And stick to it! I've never suspected you not to be able to lay down the law about something as simple as "suggesting" (hey, ____ how about you wash the dishes/make the beds/clean the bathroom/make dinner/go grocery shopping today) to get people to help with chores if they don't pitch in naturally.

Agh! Even writing that makes me crazy. How do people be like that, and how do people let them get away with being like that?!?!?

[Quelah]

Holy god. No, just no. Xan you are a saint, I hope your SO realizes that. I think another horse is in order. If he balks at that, tell him then another HOUSE is in order, to accommodate the guests. Horse is cheaper no? Well behaved houseguests get hotel rooms, and rental cars. The only houseguests I allow that are not staying here because they are farm sitting are veterinarians who are consistently good houseguests, and IME, pretty good cooks.

[KathyK]

Well behaved houseguests get hotel rooms, and rental cars.

Words to live by.

[texsuze]

Paging Xan---did you survive

[Xanthoria]

I MADE IT! They left, and I only almost accidentally killed my mum by driving off while she was halfway in the car once…

My stomach was in knots every day when I woke up, and my teeth probably wore down to stumps from gritting them so much trying to be nice… And of course I feel like a jerk anyway. Why is it so difficult?

I drop them off at the airport (naturally they booked a flight out of an airport over an hour away when we live 15 minutes from SFO) And my stomach unknotted, the sun came out and everything was great again. Go figure

[Abby Kogler]

Xan! I laughed throughout this thread. Im glad you survived >;-D

I cant imagine guests that are so dependent/un helpful. Im ike Chisamb, Welcome! Come! Any time we have had friends stay they are helpful and considerate and the few times we have stayed with friends man I am stripping beds and buying groceries even if its just for a couple of days. I would have no problem saying ok nameless parasitic 'guest', get up and help me clear the table, or heres the vacuum! go to it! It is possible that since you bear your suffering silently that they have no actual idea that you are miserable. Speak up, I say >;->

Thanks everyone for the funny stories and suggestion, you made me laugh out loud.

[Xanthoria]

Holy god. No, just no. Xan you are a saint, I hope your SO realizes that. I think another horse is in order. If he balks at that, tell him then another HOUSE is in order, to accommodate the guests. Horse is cheaper no?

This logic is INDEFATIGABLE!

[Moutaineer]

Xan, mine informed me as they left that they would be back the week before Easter... I may just move in with the Easter bunny and call it good.

[Xanthoria]

Back where Mountaineer? You’re moving house right? New address tbd?